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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, May 9, 1917"

" Only the other day a man rushed into a London _cafe_,
asked if they had any prussic acid, and, when told that they never
kept it, remarked, "Very well. Bring me a pork pie."
***
Three hundred fishing-rods have been sent to the Mesopotamia Field
Force. No request was forwarded for flies.
***
Dealing with IBSEN'S _Ghosts_ at the Kingsway Theatre, the critic of a
halfpenny morning paper refers to it as a "medley of weird psychopathy
and symbolism." Just as if he were writing for a penny paper.
***
A woman at West London Police Court has been sentenced for
"masquerading as a man." Several conscientious objectors are now
getting very nervous on sighting a policeman.
***
Only egg-laying hens will be permitted to survive under the new
regulations of the Board of Agriculture. Villagers who in the past
have made a nice thing out of training hens to get run over by motor
cars will be hard hit.
***
Now that racing has been prohibited it is unlikely that the Slate Club
Secretaries' Sprinting Handicaps will be held this year.


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