Poverty
overtook us, and no Friend was near to relieve our wants. Still
our mutual affection existed, but alas! not without interruption.
Accustomed to wealth and ease, ill could my Husband support the
transition to distress and indigence. He looked back with
repining to the comforts which He once enjoyed. He regretted the
situation which for my sake He had quitted; and in moments when
Despair possessed his mind, has reproached me with having made
him the Companion of want and wretchedness! He has called me his
bane! The source of his sorrows, the cause of his destruction!
Ah God! He little knew how much keener were my own heart's
reproaches! He was ignorant that I suffered trebly, for myself,
for my Children, and for him! 'Tis true that his anger seldom
lasted long: His sincere affection for me soon revived in his
heart; and then his repentance for the tears which He had made me
shed tortured me even more than his reproaches. He would throw
himself on the ground, implore my forgiveness in the most frantic
terms, and load himself with curses for being the Murderer of my
repose. Taught by experience that an union contracted against
the inclinations of families on either side must be unfortunate,
I will save my Daughter from those miseries which I have
suffered. Without your Uncle's consent, while I live, She never
shall be yours. Undoubtedly He will disapprove of the union; His
power is immense, and Antonia shall not be exposed to his anger
and persecution.
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