And into the bargain, whilst I was standing labouring away at this, the
constable came and, planting himself a little distance away from me,
spoilt my whole mood. Now, what concern was it of his if I stood and
strove for a striking climax to an article for the _Commandor_? Lord,
how utterly impossible it was for me to keep my head above water, no
matter how much I tried! I stayed there for the space of an hour. The
constable went his way. The cold began to get too intense for me to keep
still. Disheartened and despondent over this abortive effort, I opened the
door again, and went up to my room.
It was cold up there, and I could barely see my window for the intense
darkness. I felt my towards the bed, pulled off my shoes, and set about
warming my feet between my hands. Then I lay down, as I had done for a
long time now, with all my clothes on.
The following morning I sat up in bed as soon as it got light, and set to
work at the essay once more. I sat thus till noon; I had succeeded by then
in getting ten, perhaps twenty lines down, and still I had not found an
ending.
I rose, put on my shoes, and began to walk up and down the floor to try
and warm myself. I looked out; there was rime on the window; it was
snowing. Down in the yard a thick layer of snow covered the paving-stones
and the top of the pump. I bustled about the room, took aimless turns to
and fro, scratched the wall with my nail, leant my head carefully against
the door for a while, tapped with my forefinger on the floor, and then
listened attentively, all without any object, but quietly and pensively as
if it were some matter of importance in which I was engaged; and all the
while I murmured aloud, time upon time, so that I could hear my own voice.
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