If I only had a candle I would try
to fag on through the night; it would only take a couple of hours if I
once warmed to my work, and then tomorrow I could call on the "commandor."
I go without further ado into the Opland Cafe and look for my young
acquaintance in the bank, in order to procure a penny for a candle. I
passed unhindered through all the rooms; I passed a dozen tables at which
men sat chatting, eating, and drinking; I passed into the back of the
cafe, ay, even into the red alcove, without succeeding in finding my man.
Crestfallen and annoyed I dragged myself out again into the street and
took the direction to the Palace.
Wasn't it now the very hottest eternal devil existing to think that my
hardships never would come to an end! Taking long, furious strides, with
the collar of my coat hunched savagely up round my ears, and my hands
thrust in my breeches pockets, I strode along, cursing my unlucky stars
the whole way. Not one real untroubled hour in seven or eight months, not
the common food necessary to hold body and soul together for the space of
one short week, before want stared me in the face again. Here I had, into
the bargain, gone and kept straight and honourable all through my
misery--Ha! ha! straight and honourable to the heart's core. God preserve
me, what a fool I had been! And I commenced to tell myself how I had even
gone about conscience-stricken because I had once brought Hans Pauli's
blanket to the pawn-broker's.
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