Not that! There must be other channels yet open that I had
not tried, and I would try them. I would be so earnestly painstaking;
would take good time for it, and go indefatigably round from house to
house. For example, there was Cisler the music-seller; I hadn't been to
him at all. Some remedy would turn up!.... Thus I stumbled on, and talked
until I brought myself to weep with emotion. Cisler! Was that perchance a
hint from on high? His name had struck me for no reason, and he lived so
far away; but I would look him up all the same, go slowly, and rest
between times. I knew the place well; I had been there often, when times
were good had bought much music from him. Should I ask him for sixpence?
Perhaps that might make him feel uncomfortable. I would ask him for a
shilling. I went into the shop, and asked for the chief. They showed me
into his office; there he sat--handsome, well-dressed in the latest
style--running down some accounts. I stammered through an excuse, and set
forth my errand. Compelled by need to apply to him ... it should not be
very long till I could pay it back ... when I got paid for my newspaper
article.... He would confer such a great benefit on me.... Even as I was
speaking he turned about to his desk, and resumed his work. When I had
finished, he glanced sideways at me, shook his handsome head, and said,
"No"; simply "no"--no explanation--not another word.
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