I had fully formed an opinion
as to what it should not signify, but had come to no conclusion as to what
it should signify. "That is quite a matter of detail," I said aloud to
myself, and I clutched my arm and reiterated: "That is quite a matter of
detail." The word was found, God be praised! and that was the principal
thing. But ideas worry me without end and hinder me from falling asleep.
Nothing seemed good enough to me for this unusually rare word. At length I
sit up in bed again, grasp my head in both hands, and say, "No! it is just
this, it is impossible to let it signify emigration or tobacco factory. If
it could have meant anything like that I would have decided upon it long
since and taken the consequences." No; in reality the word is fitted to
signify something psychical, a feeling, a state. Could I not apprehend it?
and I reflect profoundly in order to find something psychical. Then it
seems to me that some one is interposing, interrupting my confab. I answer
angrily, "Beg pardon! Your match in idiocy is not to be found; no, sir!
Knitting cotton? Ah! go to hell!" Well, really I had to laugh. Might I ask
why should I be forced to let it signify knitting cotton, when I had a
special dislike to its signifying knitting cotton? I had discovered the
word myself, so, for that matter, I was perfectly within my right in
letting it signify whatsoever I pleased. As far as I was aware, I had not
yet expressed an opinion as to.
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